How Can Parents Help Their ADHD Child?

Parents help their ADHD child most effectively by understanding what is going on and why he exhibits the behaviors he does. That way, they can put the behaviors in context and respond accordingly. Parents help most by providing external structure, while helping him learn to develop his own internal mechanism for responsibility and organization.

These 25 guidelines will serve to both provide that structure and foster internal controls:

? Love unconditionally.

? Be consistent. Make sure that your child knows what to expect.

? Develop routines. Provide predictable, consistent routines and rituals.

? Follow-through.

? Be firm--set limits and boundaries and stick to them.

? Have clear, definable and realistic expectations.

? Develop an effective behavior-management system with clearly defined goals and meaningful rewards and consequences.

? Teach compensatory strategies.

? Be a great role model. Set good examples for dealing with frustration, anger, etc.

? Provide outlets for channeling negative affect.

? Seek help and support, if needed (e.g.--CHADD, parent support group)

? Help your child develop his OWN strategies--what works for him. (Make charts, lists, sticky notes and so forth to help him follow-through.)

? Teach your child to self-evaluate. "What's wrong with this picture?" Or, "Did you check your list?" Don't point out the mistakes, problems or omissions--help him find them himself. (This goes for school work--but also cleaning his room, doing his chores and other responsibilities, as well.)

? Give chores and responsibilities and hold your child accountable. Help him internalize responsibility. Again, cue reminders rather than tell. For example, "What are you supposed to do after dinner?" is much less confrontational or demeaning.

? Restrict behaviors to avoid chaos (e.g.--play with one toy at a time and put it away before choosing another activity.)

? Give limited choices. Help teach simple decision-making. Don't ask, "What do you want for breakfast?" Instead, give a choice of, "Would you like--cereal or waffles?"

? Accept your child's limitations. Play to the strengths and work around weaknesses.

? Help your child learn to organize. Develop a simple system of organization not only for school, but also for toys, clothing, and so on.

? Separate unacceptable behaviors from the child. You love him, even as you need to punish the behavior.

? Catch him being good--everyday! There are always things you can find to praise and reinforce.

? Foster positive self-esteem by helping him pursue successful avenues.

? Find reasons to be positive--highlight behavioral improvements, and even the attempts at improving. "I really like how you tried to___."

? Recognize his feelings--even when they are in the form of behavioral acting-out, oppositional behavior, and bad attitude. These behaviors can all be a result of frustration, negative self-esteem, etc.

? If he's on medication, have different expectations for behavior when medication is in his system vs. when it wears off.

? And, again, most importantly--Love unconditionally and make certain he knows it!

Parents help their ADHD child most through understanding, providing clear expectations and structure while encouraging him to act independently. Of course, unconditional love is the foundation for all these other guidelines. Your child needs to know you love him - no matter what!

Dr. Vicki Panaccione has been called, "The World's Expert in Parenting," and "The Oprah Winfrey of Families." She is an internationally recognized psychologist, speaker, parent coach, consultant, radio personality and best-selling author. She has written two award-winning books: What Kids Would Tell You--If Only You'd Ask! and Your Child's Inner Brilliance (Parent Guide to Discovery.)

Dr. Vicki is a much sought-after media expert, frequently quoted in publications such as The New York Times, Reader's Digest, People, Parents Magazine, Life & Style, Woman's Day and Family Circle, as well as web sites, including: Newsday, Good Housekeeping, WebMD, iParenting and lovetoknow. She is featured internationally on Heartbeat Radio for Women, with a weekly show entitled, Kids are from Krypton; Parents are from Pluto. Dr. Vicki serves as the parenting consultant for Nickelodeon's website parentsconnect.com, parentalwisdom.com and is on the Advisory Board for Club Esteem and a Guild Member of The Haven for abused children.

She is a passionate and dedicated child psychologist committed to compassionate and connection between parents and children. Her mission:
To help parents raise happy, successful kids--and enjoy the ride.

To get a free copy of Dr. Vicki's Top 10 Tips for Top 10 Parenting Issues, visit http://www.betterparentinginstitute.com