Parenting Mistake Number 6 - Parents Verbally State What They Don't Want

In previous articles, we have discussed how most parents do not know what they do want, before they lead the interaction. This common mistake occurs again, as parents verbally direct their child/teen, in the moment. In this article, we will discuss how to give effective directions to your child/teen by telling him/her what to do and how to do it.

WHAT TO DO...

Typically, the first word that starts off every direction with a child/teen is DON'T...

Don't run, don't play with your food, don't jump on the couch, don't talk back, don't take things without asking, don't chew gum in school, etc...

Please understand, this creates a natural conflict because...

It is physically possible to run, play with your food, jump on the couch, talk back, take things without asking, chew gum in school, and so on...

Therefore, in order to give effective directions, you must verbally state to your child/teen exactly what he or she is allowed to do. This can be achieved by providing the child with one, or maybe two, acceptable alternatives to their inappropriate behavior/approach.

HOW TO DO IT...

There are three ways to instruct your child/teen on how you want him/her to do a particular task. You can verbally describe how you want a task done. You can show him/her non-verbally. Finally, you can do a combination of both, for better results. Just make sure that you remember, children must have clear directions that explain what to do and how to do it.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com

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Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar. He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client's homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.