Children with ADHD aren't necessarily violent but when they are, even moms and dads with strong ADHD parenting skills feel frightened. Children affected with the disorder are likely to experience extreme emotions that go up and down like a roller coaster, which are triggered by no apparent cause. These outbursts happen because they have difficulty expressing their emotions; when they do, it comes out through unhealthy ways like name-calling, cussing, or violent behavior. Because of that, those who live with these children tend to walk on eggshells for fear of causing an outburst.
These suggestions might help you deal with an angry ADHD child.
The ICARE method
One way you can diffuse angry emotions is to use the ICARE method. ICARE is an acronym for interrupt, cool down, affirm, redirect, and educate. The first step is to interrupt the aggressive behavior to make the child stop and confront your involvement. Set your child aside calmly and talk alert him to the problematic behavior. If this makes your child even angrier, send your child to a place where he can cool down. Make it understood that you are not punishing your child; rather, you are giving him time to collect his behavior. The cool down time is a great way to calm yourself down too.
When your child has emerged, affirm his feelings. Your child might have behaved badly because he felt hurt, frustrated, or upset by something; find out what caused the outburst and empathize. This does not give your child an excuse to behave badly, but let him know that you understand the situation from his perspective.
Once you have intervened and prevented a violent situation, help your child redirect behavior to an activity that will distract him from his feelings. ADHD children can be very fixated on their feelings, but redirection can be easily done by getting your child's favorite toy or suggesting that your child play a video game. Finally, educate your child about the events that lead to his behavior. Give examples of better ways he could have handled the situation, or ask him ideas that can help him become less violent in the future.
Find out what makes your child angry
You might already be familiar with the situations or activities that illicit angry behavior from your child. For instance, he might hate losing to his brother at a certain game or feels offended when someone calls attention to his weight. Remind your child that he tends to get upset when he engages in certain activities, or show your child where he can retreat and cool off when he gets upset. Emphasize the idea that violent behavior will not be tolerated and that he will face serious consequences if he damages property or hurts someone.
Sublimate anger through exercise
An excellent way of redirecting angry feelings is through exercise. Activities like running, jumping on a trampoline, or riding a bike will decrease anger and help your child calm down. Keep an eye on your child to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself or damage anything.
Dr. Yannick Pauli is an expert on natural approaches to ADHD and the author of the popular self-help home-program The Unritalin Solution. He is Director of the Centre Neurofit in Lausanne, Switzerland and has a passion taking care of children with ADHD. Click on the link for more great information about what is adhd.
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