There are a lot of myths about ADHD, and there are a lot of people who believe that ADHD is nothing more than a way to excuse or allow certain children to get away with bad behavior.
I can tell you first hand that this is absolutely not true. But I also understand why people can think that way. There are a lot of people who don't understand ADHD and how it affects a child.
For the parent of a child with ADHD, there is nothing more confusing and frustrating than trying to figure out what behavior you can expect from your child. As someone who works with families affected by ADHD, I can tell you that this is one of the most common questions and struggles that parents face.
Why does my child behave this way? Is there anything I can do? Will they ever just get it?
Let's get one thing straight right away. ADHD is and never should be used as an excuse. However, it can be a powerful explanation for what is going on.
I always recommend that parents look at the behavior and ask one question, "Is this behavior acceptable?"
Once we have an answer, then we can figure out how we are going to deal with the behavior and what influence ADHD has on that specific behavior.
Excuse Vs. Explanation
The most important step right now is to truly understand and accept that ADHD is a real, biological condition. Whether you see it is a disorder, illness, or deficit is entirely up to you. However, I won't use those words.
I want instead to focus on the differences in the brain, and the differences in behavior as a result. To me, an ADHD brain is simply processing, taking in, and experiencing the world in a different way. That doesn't mean there aren't specific challenges for someone with ADHD.
I'm not saying that at all. However, I am a firm believer that all behavior can be controlled, shaped, learned, and managed no matter what. That's the difficult part.
Most people focus on the hallmark symptoms of hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention. Unfortunately, these are just a result of what is really going on for the child with ADHD.
The real struggles come from a difficulty with time management, organization, planning, decision making, working memory, and other related tasks we associate with "executive function."
Once we understand and accept this, we can shift the idea that bad behavior is a part of ADHD and really just a result of the all too real challenges these children face, and often meet with little help and support.
The next time your child exhibits a behavior that you don't like, you don't have to accept it and you certainly don't have to stand for them or anyone else using the excuse, "Oh it,s my child's ADHD."
Instead, you now know better and can work with your child to be more aware of how and when they become more impulsive, hyperactive, and inattentive. Now you know what tasks and activities lead to these behaviors, which are ultimately a result of a child with ADHD being very frustrated.
If you'd like to learn more about ADHD and what most people don't know to tell you, be sure to sign up for your very own ADHD Essentials Course. In this 3-hour audio program you'll get to learn what you absolutely need to know about ADHD, including a basic overview, how medications are supposed to work, and why it is so important to include the family. Visit http://www.adhdessentialskit.com today to get immediate access to this free audio course.
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