Divorce and Children - 3 Reasons it May Be in Their Best Interest

Divorce is never an easy decision. There are historical ties, family connections, financial partnership, and the impact on mutual friends to consider. And nowhere is the connection more powerful, and the decision to split up more difficult, than when the issue of the children is considered. Their emotional well being, the logistics of shared custody and/or single parenthood, and future stepparents can seem overwhelming to consider. However, if you have tried all you can to save your marriage, and there are serious dealbreakers you cannot resolve or accept, it may be in the best interests of the kids to follow through with the split. Here are 3 important reasons that it may be the best thing for everyone involved:

1. There is abuse occurring in the relationship. If there is any kind of physical abuse occurring, please consult a counselor or domestic violence resource center for information on how to leave your particular situation. Violence often escalates, and there is no riskier time than when you are leaving your abuser. If the abuse is emotional and psychological in nature, it may not seem as cut and dried a scenario, but there are issues to consider. If you stay, your children will be presented a prototype of a relationship that they may grow up to emulate. If they do not emulate it, and determine it is a negative, abusive situation, you may well lose their ultimate respect for staying in it and subjecting them to it. Also, keep in mind that when you are in an abusive relationship, a lot of your focus and energy goes toward maintaining the painful and failing relationship, and trying to deal with your damaged mental state, rather than nurturing your children.

2. There is untreated addiction in the marriage. If your partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, this presents a scenario where your children could be neglected or even hurt. At very least, you will be dealing with a lot of unpredictable behavior, potential legal issues for the family, and the possibility of harm to you, the addict, your family, and others. Again, your focus will also be on managing your spouse's addiction, and keeping the boat afloat, rather than on your children and their development.

3. Serial infidelity. If an affair is an isolated incident and you are able to establish healthier and more open communication as a result of an affair, a marriage can be strengthened. However, if there is repeated and continuing infidelity, this can be very harmful to your children. Your children know more than you think, and even if you try to hide a partner's behavior, chances are the children will know something is very wrong. They may grow up to emulate the cheating model, either as perpetrator or victim, or may again come to lose respect for your choice to stay with someone so destructive to you. If you are constantly dealing with hurt and betrayal, you will have a very difficult time putting time and energy into being fully present for your kids.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.